


I want to be thrilled (by only you, dear)

by reminaissance



Category: Carol (2015) RPF, The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: F/F, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:38:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6169387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reminaissance/pseuds/reminaissance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abby drags Therese and Carol up to Paramus, NJ to meet her redhead at a party. Or, the one where Therese doesn't put up with misogynistic bullshit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I want to be thrilled (by only you, dear)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for your kudos and comments on my first fic. I'll be introducing Abby's redhead to the story, so we might get to see more of her if their dynamic is well received by you guys. There are more interactions all around but we'll still get to see our love birds doting on each other. Enjoy!

 

* * *

Carol was not a fan of social gatherings. She held an awful wariness towards them that was hard for her to shake off even after officially discussing divorce matters with Harge one night, knowing that soon enough she would no longer have to attend them out of marriage duty. Carol simply no longer had it in her to play at pretending that she wished to be in those places. She disliked learning of the affairs of others coming from someone else's mouth. Conversations bored her, along with the fact that these stimulated their fragile egos and not their minds. And she loathed dancing because it was expected of her rather than doing it because she felt the rhythm in her bones.

However, a few nights before approaching the end of July, Carol received a call from Abby, who immediately skipped unnecessary greetings and asked her if she could please bring Therese and herself to Paramus, New Jersey during the weekend for a party being held at her redhead's father's house. The list of things that Carol would not do for Abby was very scarce, and in that case, attending a social gathering was not included in it. Besides, she needed to meet the woman― _Liliane―,_ who had evidently made her way far deep into Abby's heart.

"I thought you could handle a redhead." She joked. 

"Oh I do," Abby assured with a sensual connotation. "But I need your moral support, you nitwit. It's the first time I meet any of Lily's relatives and I cannot be alone in there."

She laughed quietly, "Oh my, Abby Gerhard, is this nervousness I hear?"

"Oh hush, you're no better around Therese." Abby retaliated. 

She let out an indignant gasp, although it truly was not in surprise. They both knew Abby was right, she was only more subtle about it.

"Alright, alright, you win," she said. "Give me the address and I'll mention it to Therese when she gets home." 

There would be no ending to the teasing had Carol chosen to give a retort, so instead she scribbled down the address and promised Abby to give her a phone call to confirm their attendance.

A few more minutes of sidetracked conversation passed before Carol hung up the phone with a content smile adorning her face. It was refreshing to hear Abby's voice carry such lightness. It was well deserved and just about time, she thought, that the both of them could find in their lives reasons that encouraged them to be who they truly were. Because regardless of how much time Abby had spent trying to reassure her, Carol knew that the heavy burdens placed upon her shoulders by Harge's divorce, the fight for custody over Rindy, and later on the painful decision of walking away from Therese, had also affected her. Hell, Carol very well knew it would have affected  _her_ had the tables been turned. Abby's worry had almost been palpable at times, however hard she had tried to hide it. Yet, her support was incessant, steady and infallible. It was what Carol had needed the most, regardless of whether or not she had ever admitted it out loud; the most loyal of friends ready to stand back by her side and pick up the pieces that her broken heart had shattered along the way.

Ultimately, she loved Therese without boundaries. At the end it would have always been Therese, holding the love that appeared to have been unmistakably reserved for her throughout Carol's entire life, and one so great it could never be extinguished. For its mere presence granted Carol the fulfillment of being strong enough to dare to be happy. But Carol also knew that without Abby in her life, she would not have been easily able to overcome every burden thrown her way. And had she dared to ponder over it, it was conceivable that without Abby and her constant insistence towards real happiness, Carol might have taken much longer―and perhaps even gotten lost on her path, to find her way back to Therese. 

And that is why, as she patiently awaited for her to come home and extend Abby's invitation, she breathed out a quiet _thank you_ to whomever would stake the claim of providing Carol with the support she needed to keep her going.

For the remaining of the week Carol found in Therese a spark of interest and youthful delight towards their weekend plans that made her smile and think that maybe social gatherings did not have to be so dreadful after all. She had been continuously amused by how much Therese seemed to be looking forward to that night. She had thought of reassuring her that if anything, the most, and only exciting thing about it would be getting to finally meet Abby's object of affection. But Carol simply had not had it in her to dishearten her lover's enthusiasm. Besides, she figured it would do her nothing but good to spend some time in an environment different to the one she had slowly grown accustomed to during the last few months.

Saturday night came at last. Having driven their way into Paramus for forty minutes non-stop they finally neared the address Therese had read off of Carol's scribbly handwriting. 

They slowly made their way through the stone paved driveway before the sight of the residence came in full view. Carol shuddered inwardly, its resemblance to the Aird mansion bringing a wave of emotions and unwanted memories that caused her fingers to hold onto the steering wheel a little tighter. Her dreadful exhale lingered and echoed in the silence of the car, but it wasn't until she found a spot to park in that Therese slid down the seat and approached her with a calming understanding. 

She had sensed the sort of thoughts that weaved through Carol's mind, having noticed the awfully close reminiscence herself. After she glanced quickly across her shoulder, her hands found their way to each side of Carol's face, like following a long-ago learned path that always led exactly to where they needed to be. She held her in silence, searching for a recognition behind Carol's shimmering blue eyes that would tell her she had made her way back from whatever memory she had just been pushed into. 

Once Therese found her she did not let her go again.

"This is not the house you just revisited in your mind." She whispered. "This is not where you once lived. This place has no memories, except for the ones we are about to make."  

Following the string of her own words, Therese kissed her once; lingering, lovingly, before her forehead gently came to rest against Carol's. And as every emotion that weighted so heavily it could only be expressed with enough tenderness to meld into their silence, she whispered, "I love you." 

Carol closed her eyes and let the words wash over her as warmly as the Sun would on a bright summer day. She exhaled shakily, taking comfort in the way Therese's nose lightly bumped with her own and in the steady pair of hands that worked as an anchor to a life worth living.

"I love you." She breathed.

* * *

It took Carol a few more minutes to lighten up enough to walk into the grand foyer without showing any hints of sadness in her features. And once she did, Therese became captivated by the way in which Carol instinctively held her head high and carried herself with a graceful, yet effortless elegance that was hard to miss. They met and greeted Abby first, sharing a knowing glance after they observed their friend exuding a nervous energy that in any other occasion would have been hard to relate with her. Abby introduced them to Lilly, who had been keeping her distance for a few minutes at a time in order to keep up appearances. Not for her father's sake, who surprisingly enough had long ago known of Lilly's sexuality and had accepted it with an easiness that was hard to find during those days, but rather for the guests around her who did not know her at all. Because as hard as such lesson was to learn, it was the people who knew the least about you who reveled in pretending and speaking as if they did.

Carol was courteous and delightful upon meeting Lilly, and Lilly was enchanted and glad to have finally met Abby's closest friend. Therese introduced herself in a more reserved manner, feeling slightly out of place for being the one with less experience in social gatherings such as this one. However, she was taken aback when Lilly pulled her into a hug and told her just how highly Abby had spoken of her as well. She was almost as tall as Carol. Her curly hair fell freely past her shoulders; as deeply, naturally and provocatively red as Rita Hayworth's indeed. She was jaunty and held within herself a confidence that became refreshing to everyone she met, which made it easy for both Carol and Therese to understand what had drawn Abby into her.

As the night's host, Lilly inquired about their drinks of choice before she stopped a server on his tracks and asked him to bring them over a dry Martini and a glass of their best Pinot Noir. She guided them farther across the foyer and into a brightly lit hall, with guests scattered around the room and a Jazz band whose music melded with the sound of conversations and laughter.

Once they found a spot where they could comfortably speak without shouting over at each other, Lilly turned to Therese. 

"Say, Therese, I hear you're a greatly talented photographer." Lilly said amicably. "We have a new steak house opening soon and we would like to decorate the walls with something more charming than the frivolous New Jersey's landscape. I would like to discuss with you a few ideas I have in mind later tonight. Perhaps you would like to join the project."

Therese glanced from Abby to Carol and back, seeing in the both of them a proud air tainting their features. It gave her the light rush of confidence she needed to take control of the conversation. 

"Of course." She said. "I should be able to work around anything you might have in mind."

Lilly grinned, happy to know that a sense of approval and perhaps a prospect of friendship had been born between her and Abby's closest friends. She discussed the matter further, sharing contact information with Therese and promising to give her a call over the upcoming week. She left the three of them shortly after, apologizing for having to fulfill her hosting duties as she rolled her eyes and stole a flute of Champagne from a tray passing by. 

The three women carried on with their conversation as drinks swiftly continued to arrive. Men attempted to join them from time to time which exasperated Therese more than she cared to admit. The liveliness of the environment seemed to have put Carol at ease, and so Therese wondered whether she was just as put off by the amount of men that approached them. It was hard to tell, for Carol exuded a skillful and gracious control over every conversation she carried. Knowing when to nod, when to stay silent and when to speak. Carol made it seem like an art and Therese wondered just how much was a learnt skill and how much was intrinsic. It was the palpable elegance that caused Therese to space out of conversations that did not necessarily include her, so much so that she could observe as an outsider the subtle way in which Carol tilted her chin up and to the side as she listened; the airy laughter she gave as opposed to the boisterous one she tended to let out at home; the fascinating way in which Carol's head followed swiftly after her piercing gaze when she looked at someone with casual seriousness, or the subdued manner in which her fingertips went up to that spot behind her ear that Therese loved to kiss over and over, because it emitted a scent which was purely Carol. She observed it all and tried to compare it to the way Carol behaved at home. Her grace never quite left her, that much had been deeply ingrained, but Therese knew that within the familiarity of their apartment, Carol carried herself with a relaxation and ease that she did not allow anyone else to see. And that Therese, for all that she stood as a big part of her life, was the only one who got to see the Carol beneath the façade she had carefully spent years to build.

It was a young man who finally took her out of her reverie. He was lanky beneath his black suit, although Therese could see that, to some girls, his high cheekbones and prominent jawline would be considered features of attraction. He had also joined the group no more than a few minutes before accompanied by an older man.

"So Ms. Belivet, how is it like working at the Times?" He asked.

Therese internally composed herself and looked for something to say.

"It's quite an experience." She admitted. "The amount of work and the rhythm with which it has to be done is just as the rhythm of the city... very chaotic just the same." 

The group shared a small laugh as they agreed while Therese caught Carol throwing her a small wink. 

"I'm sure the amount of testosterone can be unbearable." The same man interjected. 

Therese shrugged. "I guess I'm lucky then that the men I work with treat me as an equal."

"Careful there, Ms. Belivet. You wouldn't want to be too much of an equal that you'd scare them off." He joked, the corners of his mouth turning up in an amusement Therese found unbearably revolting.

There was a shift as a result from his last comment that did not go unnoticed by either Abby nor Carol, who up until that point had been looking at her, and who was now dangerously turning her head towards the young man.

However, Therese took a deep breath and with a steady voice she retorted. "I wouldn't know what too equal means for you, Mr. Harvey, but the quality of my work is not measured by the amount of men I scare off."

The group fell silent; Abby, impressed, hid a grin behind her glass of martini. The older man was openly amused, and Carol let out a snort so uncharacteristic of her that she tried and utterly failed to hide it behind a dignifying hand. Thrown off, the man stumbled upon words he could not quite get out anymore. His neck and face turned a dark shade of red and it was the man standing by his side who took enough pity on him to pat him on the back and send him on his way. He did not dare look Therese in the eye as he left the group.

"I apologize for my son's behavior, Ms. Belivet." The old man broke in. His voice was raspy. Trustworthy; unlike his son's. "It's not always words that come out of his mouth, if you know what I'm saying."   

Therese chuckled. 

"It's quite a shame, Mr. Harvey," Carol intervened. "That your son does not resemble you in any more aspects than your handsome looks. Although, I must say, Ms. Belivet here was surely taking him out for a ride."

Had Therese not known her well enough the prideful connotation would have gone missed. But knowing her as she did, Therese had a harder time suppressing the grin that threatened to take over her face. However, she still smiled modestly, grateful that the group had been vacated by an unwanted presence and that everyone else seemed to be willing to leave the unpleasant conversation behind. Lilly rejoined them shortly afterwards, standing a little closer to Abby than was necessary and serving as the final push the group needed to shift into a pleasant flow again. 

In the meantime Therese finished her second glass of wine and excused herself to go to the ladies' room while Carol smiled lovingly at her and watched her go. It had not been a lie that Therese had needed to use the restroom. However, she also felt a surge of need for fresh air and a place that was not swarming with people. It was then by sheer luck that she found her way towards the back of the residence and stumbled upon the French doors being covered by expensive drapes. It was clear, or so she hoped, that no one was meant to be outside.

A cool summer breeze hit Therese the moment she stepped out. As she made her way towards the stone railing of the elongated balcony, she felt the immediate relief only people well acquainted with silence could taste. The moon cast over the garden extending before her as she closed her eyes and hummed quietly. It had been quite a night. Overwhelming with its pleasantries and challenging at times, when one had to maneuver their way through obnoxious conversations while still being courteous. Therese figured these were the perfect practice fields for people who wished to polish their passive-aggressiveness. 

In minutes she lost herself in thoughts once again and missed the sound of the door opening and closing behind her.

"You're awfully pensive tonight." Carol noted as she stood by the door. Her voice resounded over the music playing back inside, but was still quiet enough to keep itself from startling Therese.

Therese turned around and smiled. She had sought solitude and silence. Yet, the presence of Carol could only complement and magnify the comfort of both of those things. She observed her as she made her way towards Therese. In her powder blue suit, Carol looked nearly ethereal against the light of the moon and Therese found herself once again enthralled. She stepped slowly into Therese's space. Stood a foot away. Still, did not touch her.

"It's like you're back up in space." She murmured.

Therese smiled down at that, the analogy of it not lost to her.  _Flung out of space,_ resonated in her mind.

Looking for something to hold, her hands found each other. She knew the reason why Carol had yet to physically reach out to her, and regardless of how much Therese craved her touch right then, she chose not to be the one to allow a stranger to walk into a compromising position. 

"I just needed some air." She conceded.

"I can leave you alone if you'd like."

"No." Therese said immediately. 

Carol nodded in compliance.

They looked at each other with the silent reveling of being together. Of being alone in a sanctuary that stood away from prying eyes and set itself under the ubiquitous light of the moon.

"How did you know I was here?" Therese asked.

"I didn't."

She frowned, confused.

Carol continued. "I don't necessarily follow you with my eyes to know where you are. It's my heart that follows you, darling. It's quite fond of you."

Therese swooned. "So your heart told you I would be here?" 

"Well aren't you?" Carol teased.

The need to touch her had become almost unbearable, but Therese managed to slightly appease it by reaching out and taking Carol's hands in her own, knowing they would be safely hidden between their bodies. More than anything, she wished she could have been entirely held in her lover's arms at that moment. 

"How―" Her head tiredly gave into falling on Carol's chest. "Do you manage?"

Carol's chuckle vibrated against the skin of her forehead. In that moment, it would have been the compound of the wine running through her veins and the warmth radiating off of Carol the mere cause of her falling asleep.

"Years of practice, dear." 

"Are men always that intrusive?" 

Carol squeezed her hands. "Not always. Sometimes they are worse." She joked. "Though, I must say, darling, the way you handled the situation back inside..."

Her pause was long enough that it made Therese look back up in search for her next words. Carol, never releasing her hands, risked the smallest of steps forward to lean in, making the space between their noses almost indistinguishable. Her mouth felt Therese's airy desire coming out of her parted lips, and she smiled wickedly the second she felt her lover trying to extinguish the space between them by chasing after her playful mouth. It was delicious and excruciating at the same time to have her right there and not being able to do anything. Still, not _wanting_ to. Because it would have been an absolute lie if Carol had dared to say that nothing excited her, and turned her on more than watching the utter sexual desire Therese had towards her, and just how much she was capable of being dominant.

"You held so much power in your voice, Therese." She breathed. "Had we not been surrounded by people... I would have asked you to use that power on me instead."

Heat shot straight from Therese's chest down to her navel as the caps of her knees almost gave in. Her hands desperately flew to the stone railing she had instinctively backed herself against, while she internally cursed Carol for having teased her in such a grandiose way. It did not help either that Carol was looking at her with an innocence that did not suit her words, and a playfulness that only caused Therese to want to back her against the wall right then. She was thrown off for a slight moment by her own powerful desire to claim Carol in such a carnal way. But it was something she could not help, and held no real interest in hiding. Not in front of Carol, at least.

However, Carol appeared to have other plans as she grinned mischievously at the sight before her.

"If you don't mind, love. We'll be leaving soon." With that, she winked at Therese and sensuously turned around and walked back into the party without a single look across her shoulder.

It took Therese five more minutes and a second trip to the restroom for a splash of water against her flushed cheeks to cool off.

* * *

Forty five tortuous minutes of pretending like she cared; forty more minutes of agonizing wait within the confines of a car; two minutes of having a gorgeous woman fidgeting with the keys of the apartment, and one point ten minutes of locking the door after her, Therese allowed not a single more second to pass before she pulled Carol into a searing kiss that was partly pure love, and partly the deepest craving that had been building up throughout the entire night. When her lips came crashing into Carol's so did her entire body, and regardless of it being smaller, Therese powerfully pinned her into the door that had been securely locked behind them. There was an unusual submission on Carol's side as she moaned, that Therese took no hesitance on taking at least some advantage of. It felt overpowering and incredibly arousing, as Therese took command of Carol's hands and body, as she placed her thigh in between her legs and allowed no room for movement while her lips hungrily sought after Carol's mouth and neck.

It was a blur; whatever trip they might have taken from the door to the bed, between the shredding of clothes and moans full of pleasure. Therese took control over every detail as she lay naked on top of Carol and explored, and re-discovered every inch of the body she saw as a sanctuary. And Carol, however powerful her presence might have been over the evening, gave herself willingly and completely to the desires of the person she loved and craved the most. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is partly dedicated to all of you who are still having a rough time after the last 100 episode. I hope this work might have cheered you up a little.


End file.
